"It's unacceptable to think there's any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of America and the action of Islamic extremists who kill innocent women and children to achieve an objective," -George W. Bush September 15th, 2006
From: Texas State Middle School Board
To: George W. Bush, President of the United States
Dear Sir,
It has come to our attention that you have an outstanding 'Incomplete' grade for your seventh grade American History class. You are therefore not technically a middle school graduate at the present time. You probably missed the lessons regarding World War II, when America firebombed the city of Dresden, Germany, which killed thousands of innocent women and children. Also, the United States dropped a pair of nuclear bombs on two average Japanese cities populated by, you guessed it, innocent women and children. Why? To achieve an objective. Also, see the American Indian, if that even needs to be said.
By the way, it's pronounced 'New-clee-er'. While we appreciate that some spin doctor told you saying it that way makes you seem more 'Regular Joe', we are here to tell you that to be a sitting president who can't properly pronounce the name of the weapon he could blow a lot of shit up with, it just seems stupid and phony.
We of the T.S.M.S.B. do not presume to pass judgment on the correctness or incorrectness of the motives of the United States in the 1940's, or any other time, like before they existed as a country. We are merely pointing out your supreme and selective ignorance of motherfucking history, you butthole. Please return your middle and high school diplomas to the nearest education authority. Your studentship in the great state of Texas is hereby, and forever after, revoked. Your name is hereby stricken from the extremely big list of Texas Public Schoolchildren, and Yale wants to have a stern word with you. No more yellow roses for you, sir.
Our profound apologies to the Dixie Chicks, who we hope will keep the faith in spite of the huge population of total assholes in the world. Please come home.
Regards,
The Texas State Middle School Board
cc:
And also the Citizens of Texas
And also the Citizens of the United States
And also the people of the world
And God