Both teams get an equal shot at winning
It is not possible to have a scoreless tie
Butt Slapping
Faking injuries or intentionally fouling are not part of the game
You can't play the game if you are so big you'll be dead by fifty
You can play it well even if you're drunk, stoned, or tripping on acid
You can watch your team four or five times a week during the season
It is not possible for a .500 or worse team to make the playoffs
The Playoffs and Finals are all wrapped up in a month
Everyone plays both offense and defense
Game can be played in a field
Any player in the game has a reasonable chance to score the winning run/point/goal
The game involves a ball
cheerleaders
Balls/pucks fly into the crowd regularly
scoring is not so prolific that the first 3/4 of the game are virtually meaningless
you can play without hundreds of dollars of gear
You get dirty
You can still walk under your own power two years after retirement
you're a superstar even if you fail 6 out of 10 times
The game is popular in most civilized nations
The Head Coach wears a uniform, not a friggin tie
You can take a whiz without fearing you might miss all the scoring
A family of four can go without taking out a second mortgage
The game is called Baseball
TOTALS=
D.F.Q.*=