Numbers Don't Lie:
But there are all sorts of people who use numbers in a misleading way, in order to lie.
0
The number of gay, black, woman, or non-Christian Presidents of the United States who are responsible for the fucked-up mess our country has become.
12
The combined number of Honda and Toyota models that are, by percentage, 'more American built' than the Ford Mustang.
BUY AMERICAN!
-11
Amount, in dollars, that one share of Home Depot stock has lost in value (about 25%) since they stupidly decided to fire me. Coincidence? Hardly. Hilarious? Definitely.
5.8
Number, in millions, of Ford vehicles that have been recalled in the past two years due to a propensity for bursting into flames. Luckily, they are also very easy to roll over, so the 'Stop, Drop, and Roll' rule we all learned in grade school will come in handy.
4
Games in a five game span that the Worst Baseball Team Ever, the Cleveland Indians, lost in the opponents' final at bat. Sports is stupid.
49
Field goals missed, out of 164 attempts, in the first week of college football. Kickers are stupid.
0
Planets named after cartoon Disney dogs. I'll miss ya Pluto. Luckily, I hung with you when you were still cool.
(See '1000 Words and Change')
8
The number of points, two field goals and two extra points, that Steve Aponavicius from Boston College kicked in his first football game, college or high school, ever. His team won. The bimbo who interviewed him immediately after the game called him 'Chris'. Smooooth.
