Havoc Tiberius Justice, a Samoyed who truly enjoyed his nap time, was born as a runt of nine pups to a slovenly couple who sold him to me. He proceeded to be the coolest dog a boy could want, and had many adventures. But his main passion was to sleep in exceptionally uncomfortable positions.
Havoc's Uncomfortable Position
A Brief History of the Dog Who Enjoyed Discomfort
Now I tell you, to see it in person, well...
At first it's a bit disconcerting, but once you ponder it, it seems almost Zen. If he were in a more 'normal' orientation, he wouldn't be as comfortable. Here's another Havoc Classic:
This dog took a roadtrip in stride, as if it were the most natural thing to get in a vehicle in Columbus, Ohio, and get out at a rest stop in Kentucky. A capital dog, indeed.
For anyone who has ever thought that dogs have no souls, well, I hate to break it to you, but you're uh...well, you know...wrong. I'm just sayin'. This dog definitely had soul. He kicked serious ass, and he was certainly well aware of it. But let's get back to the uncomfortable positions...
It's really a shame this picture isn't a bit wider because that disco-era, gold-and-black enamel trimmed couch was sweet. Some sort of faux black velour, and just short enough that I couldn't lay out on it. As you can see, more than enough room for a dog bent on body-contorting sleep.
One other odd feature of the Disco Couch was it's uncanny ability to not retain Havoc fur. Ladies and gentlemen, the Samoyed is a dog from Russia. The really rugged, cold-as-hell part. I've heard that samoyeds are one of the very few dog breeds not descended from wolves. Perhaps some smarty pants know it all could fill me in on that, I'm not that interested in researching it.
Point is, this dog is born to do six things: eat, poop, sleep, procreate, sleep, and shed like a friggin' Shedmaster 4000 Shedding Machine. The one with new and improved shedding power. I mean shhhhhheheheheheheheddd. I could have made a comforter that would keep greater Cleveland warm all winter long out of the fur he so casually left laying around. On the floor...and the curtains, the ones that are three feet off the floor...and in the houseplants. I went through vacuum bags like girls go through shampoo.
But not that couch.
That was a sweet couch.
Havoc took great care selecting his sleep positions. He would roll around in fits and starts for a couple of minutes, and then settle with a relaxation you could see happen. It made me relax a little, every time. Occasionally, he slept with his mouth hung over the water dish (a la the picture above, in the vehicle). The fur that hung into the bowl regularly soaked up loads of water, which Havoc would spread generously throughout the house. He was great like that.
He hunted squirrels with a fierce determination. Hmm...I guess that means he was born to do seven things. As to the squirrels, I think he thought all squirrels were just one crafty squirrel. How he got out of that tree was a big mystery.
Caught one once, too. The squirrel is hanging out of his maw, screaming bloody squirrel murder and thrashing about. Havoc, meanwhile, contemplates:
'What? I never thought of what I'd do if I caught one of these buggers. Anybody want this?'
In the end, the squirrel got away when Havoc forgot he was there, and all was well. That squirrel went on to some notoriety, but that's another story, best left to the tabloids. For now, I think we'll let sleeping dogs...you know.
As I said, that was a damn cool dog.
Havoc's bastard brother Justice. The dog behind the dog.
Roach Dog, one of nine pups sired by Havoc and a sweetheart beagle mix named Kilo. Not in picture, a squirrel high in the tree giving her the finger.
On a break from the road, San Angelo, Texas, 2004
"Perhaps small bits of food will fly into my mouth."
First encounter with the desert, and pear cactus, central Texas, 2004
Oh yeah, that's the stuff!
Havoc Tiberius Justice
Partner in Crime
Agent of Chaos
Making Heaven a better place for all concerned.
"People who don't like dogs suck."
-Balto, who was a Samoyed (no matter what stupid historians say) that saved some lives or something in 1925